God's Provision

Over the last couple of weeks, the Lord has been dealing with me on the topic of provision. If I’m being honest, this theme repeats itself in my relationship with the Lord a few times. I just keep hearing the Lord say, I provide, I make provision. I think I hear the Lord, but apparently, I must not be listening. 

Every morning during this season (seed starting season), the beginning of the gardening season, I wake up, get ready, and head downstairs to check on my seedlings. As much as I love this season, caring for seedlings is a little bit like having a newborn baby x 100 (because even though I say I’m not going to go overboard, every year, I can’t help myself and I start way too many seeds.) I watch them, pray over them, worry, fret, hum, hem, and haw… I talk myself in and out of gardening 10 times in the span of minutes lol. One minute I’m in love and the next, I’m questioning my ability to grow anything. This is why I love the garden, it’s so humbling. It forces me to reckon with my deep feelings and face them head-on, even some insecurities. (we can talk about this later) 

This particular morning, I was flustered, some of my seedlings weren’t sprouting as I had expected. I checked the soil, the grow light height, the water, ugh, what could it be? I walked away for a minute and then glanced over my shoulder looking back at the shelf to get more perspective and there it was. 

Cucumber seedlings

I saw this cucumber seedling leaning over, it was so odd because it was leaning away from the light, so I went in for a closer look and it blew my mind and heart wide open in an instant. I’m going to pause here to let you look at the picture to see if you can see it. I tried to take this picture 20 times but I couldn’t exactly capture what my heart experienced. Let me know if you see it! (hint: zoom in) 

It may not seem like much, but let me explain to you what I saw. As I got closer to the seedling to inspect it, I leaned in all the way, mostly focusing on the large seedling itself, but then as my eyes traced the soil, small spots of green caught my attention and I heard the Lord say, that is my provision. You see, the larger seedling is leaning over in that direction to protect the new baby seedlings that have just emerged from the soil. They are so small, barely visible but in God’s true design, He used the larger seedling to protect the little one. My heart immediately swelled. You see, there are so many reasons why I needed this message and honestly, even right now, I hear God speaking more to my heart. 

The first thing I understood is that I needed a reminder that I could do all I could to provide and protect my family and make provisions but ultimately, God is in control and I need to stop worrying about everything being just right and trust that God is Jehovah Jireh, my Provider, He makes provision in ways I cannot even fathom. And if necessary, He and only He can use even a seedling to do the work it needs to do to show that God will provide. You see, by my calculations, the seedlings should have been pointing in the opposite direction because they always lean towards the light! But, God knew the exact timing of those little baby seedlings and what kind of protection they would need and HE provided it. My worry didn’t, my overthinking didn’t, and not even my obsessive attention to detail could have matched that exact moment. Only God could do that, and as the word says, if He will do it for the plants and the birds, how much more will He do for us, His beloved. 

You see, leading up to this moment, I have been running numbers through my head, all night, all day, praying, worrying (I know, not very faith-filled of me)  pacing the floor, thinking of all the ways I can make the numbers work so that my son can go to the college of his choice. I think the Lord was tired of me, and in His most gracious and loving way, showed me, that He will be in charge of the provision for my little ones. 

It’s not like I didn’t know it already. I can quote the scriptures:

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want (I lack nothing) ~Psalm 23:1

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. ~Jeremiah 29:11

My God will supply all your needs according to His riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:19

But somehow the, “I’ve gotta do my part” part creeps in and distracts me from keeping my focus on The Provider, the source. 

God is so gracious and kind, so gentle and loving, even when we forget to include Him in the equation of current situations, He gently reminds us, “I’m here” 

Friends, The Lord provides. He sees you, He knows what you need, when you need it, and even how. If we can just get ourselves to not waste time allowing our anxieties to build up and take over but instead focus our efforts on building our faith in the Lord, I trust that He will take care of us, ALWAYS. 

Love, 

Gracie